Spiritual Orphans

‘The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”’ (Rom 8:15)

As Christian believers, our Heavenly Father is constantly present with us by His Spirit. (John 14:18)

Not only is He always with us, but He also loves us passionately and unconditionally. The value God the Father places upon us is such that He paid the price of the life of His Son Jesus to restore us to His family. (John 3:16)

The ‘orphan spirit’ refers to a spiritual condition in which some Christians profess outwardly to know God as Father, but experience an internal contradiction to that belief.

Deep down they struggle to comprehend that God loves them. They may harbour feelings of abandonment, fear, unworthiness or rejection. This may be due to unhealed hurts from painful past experiences.

How do I know? I have been there.

I am grateful for the revelation of God as my loving Heavenly Father that has changed my life.

4 Signs of the Orphan Spirit in Church Life

God called and designed us to be a part of His church family—brothers and sisters in one body together. (Gal 6:10, 1 Cor 12) However, having an orphan perspective can affect our relationships in the church. [1] This includes ministry teams and our response to Christian leadership.

Here are 4 symptoms of the orphan spirit in church life, along with the Father’s corresponding invitation to healing:

1. Competing and Needing to Stand Out

Spiritual orphans do not feel accepted and feel the need to prove their worth.

This may result in:

• Seeking to hide their own limitations
• Perceiving the strengths of others as competition
• Secretly taking satisfaction in the weaknesses of others
• Needing and seeking attention.

Our Father’s invitation is to a place of unconditional acceptance and rest in our unique, God-given identity. (1 Cor 12:18)

Sons and daughters embrace both their strengths and weaknesses—comfortable both with who they are and Whose they are. They cover each other’s weaknesses and joyfully add their combined strengths to the family.

2. Isolation or Independence

Deep down the orphan does not feel as though he or she belongs in the family. Suffering a sense of abandonment, the instinct of an orphan is to go it alone.

This may result in:

• Withdrawal, physically or emotionally from others.
• An attitude of independence.

Our Father’s invitation is one of welcome embrace, to a place of belonging in His family. (Eph 1:5)

Sons and daughters embrace interdependence—the need of each other. Brothers and sisters celebrate being joined together as family and working as a team.

3. Fear and Insecurity

The spiritual orphan is unsure of his or her place in the family. Orphans also feel uncovered and unprotected—therefore their instinct is to protect themselves and their position.

This may result in:

• A constant need of reassurance by leaders [2]
• Lack of confidence in their spiritual gifts, and any ministry position they have been given.
• The need to prove themselves.
• Being protective and territorial about their ministry areas

Our Father’s invitation is to a place of security in His love, care and constant oversight. (Matt 10:29-31)

Sons and daughters have nothing to fear, already secure in their Father’s love and place in the family. They can trust in Father’s faithfulness even when changes or trials occur in church life.

4. Performance-Orientation

The spiritual orphan feels rejected—therefore believing that he or she must compensate by working hard or performing well in order to be recognised.

This may result in:

• A constant drive to perform well
• Judging the weaknesses or performance of other team members or leaders
• Having feelings of mistrust towards others—feeling they are going to be ‘punished’ at any time

Our Father’s invitation is to experience the fullness of His undeserved grace and favour. (Eph 1:6)

Sons and daughters generously extend grace to others’ failure to measure up to actual or perceived standards. This is because they know the fullness of the Father’s grace towards them.

Sons and daughters respond well to measurements or reviews in work or ministry, knowing that they exist to call forth the best from the team.

The Father’s Invitation

‘Yet to all who did receive [Jesus], to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.’ (John 1:12)

Here is the good news of the Gospel: the Father freely receives us as His beloved children! If you can relate to having the perspective of a spiritual orphan, I encourage you to make use of the suggested articles and resources below.

Even those of us who know the Father’s personal love for us may occasionally slip back into an orphan mentality. This can be a temptation when we are weary, under stress or have been through a difficult time.

When this happens, the Holy Spirit, our ‘Spirit of Adoption’ will quickly alert us to it. And at that very moment, we can respond to His invitation to step back and rest in our Father’s love.

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Notes:

[1] The same dynamics may also be seen in families, friendships, and non-church teams.

[2] The challenge of leaders is to continue to move in the opposite spirit—acting as a true spiritual parents, and representing the Father’s love, even when they themselves are not being perceived as such.

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Other Articles and Resources:

No Longer An Orphan: How I Discovered The Father’s Love

This post is my personal testimony and contains a link to Jack and Tricia Frost’s highly recommended original articles on the spiritual orphan and keys to healing.

1 Father, 2 Sons, 3 Positions

This post on the Prodigal Son describes my own ‘internal contradiction’ and how I was set free by coming home to the Father.

Breaking Free From An Orphan Mindset

Includes a prayer to be released from the orphan mindset.

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Can you think of other signs of the orphan spirit in church life? Leave a comment in the comments box. If it is not visible, click on this link and scroll down.

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© Helen Calder Enliven Blog – Prophetic Teaching

On team with David McCracken Ministries: Prophetic Ministry That Empowers The Church

Did you receive this from a friend? Read more from Enliven Blog or sign to receive our weekly prophetic teaching updates at http://enlivenpublishing.com/blog

The Orphan Mindset

In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 1:5

A story is frequently told of a baby eagle that fell out of its nest and became separated from its family.

A mother chicken took pity on the apparently orphaned eagle and raised the baby as her own.

As it grew, the young eagle pecked and shuffled along the ground along with its chicken siblings, having never learned that life could be any different.

One day it looked up at an eagle soaring high in the sky and marvelled…

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As sons and daughters of a living God we should bear the family likeness and carry out the family business.

But we will never fulfil our potential or live a supernatural Christian life while we are living with an orphan mindset.

Until we do, we will live like the eagle in the story, believing that we are subject to limitations that do not exist.

We need to fully comprehend the Family that we belong to.

Recently I wrote a post entitled, ‘No Longer An Orphan: How I Discovered The Father’s Love.’

I have come to realise that it is possible to experience significant healing in this area, and yet still be restricted by orphan (Fatherless) thinking.

I can pay mental assent to the truth of my acceptance as a child of my Heavenly Father, and yet my feelings and responses sometimes reveal a deep-set belief that God has left me to live life alone and apart from Him.

Like other ‘strongholds’ in our minds [1], this way of thinking needs to be recognised and expelled from our lives and replaced with the truth of God’s Word.

So how do we recognise and deal with an orphan mindset?

In previous posts I have discussed the orphan spirit as it relates to our relationship with God as Father.Here are two further areas that I have been challenged over recently:

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Signs of an Orphan Mindset

1. We have an orphan mindset when contemplating what God has called us to do continually makes us feel inadequate or afraid.

Jesus said,

I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth… I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. (John 14:16,18)

An important aspect of ‘comprehending the Family that we belong to’ is being aware of the relationship of the Holy Spirit to us.

The reality is that we will never be or do what Father has called us to, without the Presence and enabling power of the Holy Spirit.

So why do we often feel alone?

Here are two questions to consider:

• How would my life be different if I brought the reality of the Holy Spirit’s presence into the picture of my life?
• How could I live if I took into account, not my own inability, but His ability, for every moment, every challenge, both present and future?

2. We have an orphan mindset when we believe that it is impossible to follow in Jesus’ steps.

Like the young eagle gazing at the eagle soaring in the sky, I look at the life of Jesus presented in the Gospels and wonder.

Can I really aspire to be like Him?

I know I am called to be a disciple—follower—of Jesus, my life a reflection of His.

Somehow, it is much easier to relate to the unlikely heroes of Scripture—those flawed and sinful people that God used to change history—than to Jesus.

And yet, Jesus’ life is the picture of what my life can look like.

The Apostle Paul puts it this way in Romans 8:29:

‘For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.’

Or as Eugene H. Peterson puts it in ‘The Message,’
“We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in [Jesus]”(Rom 8:29)

As children of God, we are created in His image and share His family likeness—His DNA. The same Holy Spirit that anointed Jesus also lives in us.

We are called to be Jesus disciples—but orphan thinking will cause us to be His followers in name only.

To be a disciple of Jesus requires us to actually live with and to learn from Him in the same way that His disciples did in the Gospels.

This comes not only from Bible study, but also by living life with Him as a present and continual experience.

An orphan mindset and belief system will act as a veil that will keep us from encountering Jesus and having a face-to-face relationship with him.

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Prayer to be Released from the Orphan Mindset

Perhaps you can identify with some of the struggles I have shared above. You might like to join me in this prayer:

Father, I am sorry for the times that I do not recognise and embrace the truth of my relationship to You—that I am your fully loved and fully accepted child.

I repent of the times I feel and act as though I am an orphan alone, when Jesus has paid the highest price of His life that I might be a member of your family.

I renounce [refuse to have any longer] the orphan mindset, with all of its lies, rejection and unbelief, especially… [include anything specific God has shown you]

I ask that by Your Spirit you will continue to expose and deal with any residue of orphan thinking in my life.

Thank You for the gift of new life and for receiving me into Your Family. I choose to believe the truth of who I am in relationship to You and who You are in relationship to me… [include any relevant scripture references here]

In Jesus’ Name.

[1] A stronghold is a belief system that is contrary to what the Bible teaches. For more information see 2 Corinthians 10:3-6

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Related posts:

No Longer An Orphan: How I Discovered The Father’s Love

4 Symptoms of the Orphan Spirit in Church Life

How Your Perspective Can Impact Your Destiny

1 Father, 2 Sons, 3 Positions: Which Describes You?

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© Helen Calder   2010  Enliven Publishing

Now on team with David McCracken Ministries

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Do you have any thoughts or experiences to share on the topic of an orphan mindset? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment in the box below. If the comments area is not visible, click on this link and scroll down.

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Fathers Day (Australia & New Zealand) Sunday 5th September 2010

‘Are You the God I am afraid You are—or the God I want You to be?’

My crisis of burnout in early 2009 could be summed up in this question that I asked at that time.

‘Are You the God I am afraid that You are—a task-master whose approval I can never win? Or the Father I have longed for—a God of grace and joy?’

How can it be that a Christian of 33 years could have such a crisis of faith?

The Orphan Spirit

‘I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.’ John 14:18

As Christians, we are beloved children—sons and daughters—of a loving Father. And yet for many of us, this truth is negated by a deep-rooted belief that we need to prove our worth in order to be loved.

We are born again as sons and daughters, a relationship so valued by God that Jesus paid the price of His life-blood for it, and yet many of us live as spiritual orphans. Why?

I first came across teaching about the ‘orphan spirit’ by Jack Frost in 2002 [1]. I read his articles with interest and agreement, little knowing that at least one statement would prove prophetic:

‘Often within the church it is difficult to tell whether a person walks in the heart attitude of an orphan or a son (this includes daughters).  Outwardly, a person may have a pattern of service, sacrifice,discipline, and apparent loyalty,but you do not know what is inside a person until he or she gets bumped. Then the attitude of the heart overflows at a time when they feel they are not getting the recognition or favor they deserve.’ Jack Frost [1]

My loving Father arranged for the year 2008 to be the year I was ‘bumped.’ Due to transition in the ministry I served in, I had 5 responsibilities, and could do none of them well. It seemed that no matter how hard I worked, the approval I craved was withheld.

I emerged in 2009 free of all but one of the ministry roles, but burnt out and exhausted. It was in the ensuing crisis of faith that I asked the question, ‘Are You the God I am afraid You are—or the God I want You to be?’

Discovering the Father’s Heart.

It was in this year of brokenness, devoid of the ability to achieve, that I discovered the grace of my Heavenly Father.

This was chiefly expressed through my husband, who bravely bore the burden of providing for our household, giving me as much time as I needed to recover.

I also discovered grace through friends who encouraged me to find and express my own voice, resulting in this blog.

I discovered grace through the presence and patience of my pastors and church family.

I discovered grace through reconnecting with the Father and allowing Him to peel back the layers of my need to perform, replacing them with His love.

Living as Sons and Daughters

“This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matt 3:17

Two weeks ago I listened as Leif Hetland [3] taught on ‘The Orphan Spirit.’ An orphan, he said,

• Sees God as a master
• Lives by love of the law
• Is always insecure
• Needs to be noticed
• Is one for whom discipline is a duty

Whereas a son and daughter:

• Sees God as a loving Father
• Lives by the law of love
• Has security, rest, peace
• Has total acceptance
• Is one for whom discipline is a delight

He went on to share five truths associated with this—the revelation of belonging, of being wanted and valued, of favour, of being seen and watched over by God, and of being approved.

It was a great message, and when Leif gave the call for those who needed to respond to stand, I actually stayed seated—a testimony to the work God has done in my life over the past year.

Kingdom Citizenship

Leif then asked the worship leader, Steve Swanson, to sing a song of the Father’s love over us. As I opened my heart to God in that tender moment, I had a vision:

‘I was looking at a secured metal briefcase. It immediately reminded me of the movie ‘The Bourne Identity,’ when Jason Bourne went into the secure bank deposit and came away with a briefcase that contained passports, weapons and a wealth of money.

Down the right-hand side of the briefcase was a combination lock. It was very long—a set of numbers that would be impossible to remember. At the moment I noticed it, the Father said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got this covered.’ He opened the case.

To my surprise, the case contained no wealth—in fact, it was relatively empty.

All it contained was a single passport.

I knew that it was a Kingdom passport, and that it was mine because I was a daughter of the King. The front cover was embossed with a large crown, along with the face of a lion. ‘The Lion of the Tribe of Judah.’

God in His grace chose a revelation that had personal meaning to me. You see, my family and I are not citizens of the country we are now living in. This has been an ongoing source of frustration to us, as there are rights and privileges we do not have access to here in Australia.

Now, He was showing me that I am a citizen of His Kingdom, belonging to His Tribe, fully qualified, with all the rights and privileges attached to being a daughter of His Kingdom. There are no places in His will I cannot go to—every door my Father opens I can pass through.

I did not realise that there was a wound attached to my citizenship status until God chose at that moment to reveal and heal it.

But better than that—the truth of sonship has, once and for all, dropped from my head to my heart. I no longer need to live as a spiritual orphan. I am a daughter of the King.

And the answer to my question?

‘I am the God you want Me to be. I am the Father you have longed for—the God of grace and joy.’

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If this article has spoken to you, you may be interested in the following resources that I have referred to:

[1] Here are the links to download Jack and Trisha frost’s PDF articles on the orphan spirit:

(Note when you click on these links it will download the PDF files immediately. You can check out Shiloh Place Ministries website here: http://www.shilohplace.org/ )

Slavery To Sonship (1) Exposing The Roots Of The Spiritual Orphan

Slavery to Sonship (2)

[2] Leif Hetland – Healing The Orphan Spirit (Teaching CD)

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Related Posts:

For a prayer to help you break free from an orphan mindset, read the first of the following posts:

Breaking Free From An Orphan Mindset

4 Symptoms of the Orphan Spirit in Church Life

1 Father, 2 Sons, 3 Positions: Which Describes You?

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© Enliven Publishing 2010 Helen Calder
Now on team with David McCracken Ministries

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Do you know of any resources about the orphan spirit that could help others who are on this journey? I would love you to share them with us in the comments section of this post.(If the comments box is not visible, click on this link and scroll down).